Guys that don't realize the truth in these words, will always be wondering or will eventually pay the price because of ego.
Understanding the importance of that phrase will set you free of the most conniving women.
"It's only yours while you're in it, so fuck it like you own it"
Just a few words of wisdom I came across to help some of you out...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Mistakes MEN make in the GAME
Being poor leaders in a relationship with women.
Not being communicative- not volume of words but quality of words. Lots of guys think they're expressive because they talk a lot but they aren't really saying anything in their words. Learn to say the important things in a relationship, it'll cut down on assumption and her need to deliberate with her friends on your actions. Most don't do this out of fear of disapproval, but that's when it's time to step up and be a man. Tell here where you're coming from. A woman you date might not always like you- hell- she doesn't even always like her own friends and mother, but she NEEDS to respect you. Communicating properly is worth a TON of points in Ladyland.
Idolatrizing a woman's sexuality (putting a woman's pussy on a pedestal)- Typically when a guy does this, he puts unfair standards on the woman she can't meet. It makes her feel restrictive and as if she's being judged. Many men do this because they view the woman as higher than all others to him (especially guys in a relationship), but it's important to remember that she is human and as a human, she's allowed to make some mistakes with her vagina. That doesn't make her a whore.
Allowing insecurities to get the better of him- You can't afford to be insecure and indecisive. You can't expect someone to put their faith in your as a leader and be indecisive. You can even be wrong (so long as you admit you were and make amends), but you can't be indecisive because it shows a lack of direction. Better to go the wrong way than no way.
Being boring- Women don't like a bad time but they HATE a boring time because they're stimulation addicts. It's part of their make up. It's a key component to their attraction to "bad boys." He gives them something to talk and think about. You don't have to be bad, but you've got to be something. Easiest thing is to be yourself. Being you will give you a certain amount of uniqueness which can also give you a certain amount of edge and mystique. Good stuff.
Being indecisive - Don't leave her on the vine. Before you get too deep in any sort of relationship (fling or girlfriend) ask yourself what you want from the relationship and once you know, begin BEHAVING that way. If you're too indecisive for too long, she will pick up sticks and move on.
Not being a man of his word- Your word is your bond and decree as a leader. Being wrong is better than being a liar. Being critical is better than being a liar. In ladyland, saying youre' going to take out the trash and not taking it out is considered a lie. So be mindful of what you say you will definitely do and once you say it, do it.
Not being consistent in his actions
Being too apologetic - If you're sorry, you're sorry, but if you say "sorry" too much she'll think you're sorry man.
Opening up too soon to a woman - Just like you're turned off by a woman getting intimate too quickly, a woman is turned off by you getting too emotional too fast. And just like the length of acceptable time varies from man to man, it varies from woman to woman.
Underestimating his value as a man/ letting a woman trick him into believing his value is lower - Dont' let anyone decide your value. Often times it's a test and if you let her low ball you, she'll treat you low because you wouldn't assert yourself to be higher.
Hating on other men who are in competition for the same woman- This only gives the woman power over BOTH men. What you've told her is that you value you her more than moral integrity. It says a lot about you (bad stuff) but it also says a lot about her (she must be the shit for you to act this way.) You can't get mad when she acts high post and you can't get mad when she think she can do better. You've proven yourself to be lacking in the Man Code- she probably can do better.
Expecting love, devotion and loyalty of a mother from a girlfriend- You can't expect a woman to love you through thick and thin like your mother. She only treats you that way because you are her offspring. It's important to understand that a relationship must be MAINTAINED. If you don't she will leave you. The only person your girl will love like your mother did is HER KIDS.
Not empathizing with women- Your feelings are like NIGHT VISION when dealing with women. Empathizing doesn't mean you agree, it merely means you see where they're coming from. You don't have to agree but that kind of insight should inform your decisions when dealing with her.
Badly assessing maturity levels - If she's down to get married and you want to fuck around- LET HER GO. There's a drought on chicks with their heads right. Let some other guy get at her who is ready for a commitment. Conversely, if you're ready to settle down and she wants to party, why try to change her? That only builds resentment.
Being too Pre-occupied with a woman they like - Be passionate about something other than the woman and she will use her feminine wiles to divert that attention to her. Want to know women like artists? They hope that he's going to divert all that passion he puts into a project, into her pussy. If the only thing you're passionate about is her, she knows the extent of your attention and has no reason to desire it.
Projecting values of a man on a woman- Women aren't men with vaginas, they are unique individuals going through life with a totally separate experience. While we share some of the same values, its' important that men understand that women do not think the same way as them. That doesn't admonish them from basic moral behavior, but you can't call her weak because she isn't as confrontational as a man or a whore because she values things like security.
Not giving themselves time to heal after a relationship- Emotional scarring can run deep with men and I don't think we're as emotionally resilient as women. In fact, I think that's why women are hesitant to get with guys who have been in a ton of long term relationships or divorced. Men imprint the women they love in their hearts like an animal. So when you separate it hurts for a long time. Dont' be so quick to get back in the game. Take time to heal so you don't end up punishing your woman for something the last woman did.
Not valuing their emotionality- Emotionality of a man is valued by women in the same way that we value sexuality in women. Don't be an emotional ho. Don't share all of our intimate details with every woman. Don't lie to them either, but don't share all of your plans, triumphs, falls and life stories. If a woman is intrigued by you, you've got to use your life experiences like she uses cleavage. Too many men are emotional "hoes" nowadays because they're hoping to exchange emotional intimacy for sexual intimacy. That can only occur if there's a value on the emotional intimacy and the best way to keep that is scarcity.
Not understanding how to be a companion- So much of relationships has been broken down to men = provider, women = child birthers and roll over sex. It's deeper than that. As the leader of the relationship, it's important to understand that the first "offspring" of any couple if the relationship itself. Women love experiences and equally as important as doing some things she wants to do is throwing in some things that maybe neither you guys have done so you can do them together. There are two things that save the average guy when a woman breaks up with him: experiences that she fondly remembers and good sex.
Not understanding how women view sex- It's been often said that only a small number of women can actually have an orgasm through vaginal penetration. That can be argued, but what cannot be argued is that it doesn't stop these women from having sex. The reason is that women enjoy sexual attention. She enjoys feeling desired. The argument could be made that many single women who go through fits of depression and have flings or one night stands do so because they want to feel that sort of sexual attention. Every now and then you've got to ravage her. Even if she fronts like she's not into it. You've got to outlast her and want more. Not just more sex, but more of her. You've got to relay to her that you want more of her when its' not physically impossible to do so. Sex can be likened to a conversation with genitalia. When you start a relationship and you just love talking to a woman and she just loves talking to you and you've got to go but you don't want to get off the phone. You need to transfer that sentiment to sex. You need to make it about her. Also, often men view intimacy as a race to ejaculation. WRONG. There are plenty of women who have sex with men and don't actually get the pleasure of an orgasm or ejaculation and the sex is fine for them. If you want to change it up on a woman and show her it's about the experience of having sexy with her and not just about cumming, let her get hers and then stop. Just cool out and chill there with her in the moment. It's something seldom done by men, increases your stamina and builds a unique sexual bond with a woman because it's probably been seldom, intentionally done with other men.
Not being accountable- Men are leaders and leaders are not only responsible but ultimately accountable. If you're going to run shit and demand the respect and benefits of running things, its' important you take some time to analyze the relationship and see exactly what you're accountable for in it. Trust me, she knows even if you don't and she holds you accountable.
Not being bold- There are actually two distinct old sayings that go well on this- "Fortune favors the bold," and "fortune be lady." Men have penises so they can put their dicks on the table. You want something from a woman: put it out there. It won't work out every single time, but that's life. You cant be scared of rejection. Michael Eisner, former head of Disney, asked his wife to marry him for times before she said yes. She recently said in an interview she was really glad he kept asking. Robert Downey Jr. asked his now wife Susan Downey out four times before she said yes. They met in 2003 on the set of Gothika (he was already famous) and she said "no" because she thought it was weird. Even if a woman doesn't find you attractive, she'll find your boldness and the fact that you have plans for her attractive. It makes her feel valuable and at the same time it shows you're a planner.
Being scared and rationalizing it away- A lot of this "strength" that men show today is "aggressiveness." A lot of the pimp and player mentality of today's man is really a fear of intimacy and being close to a woman. If you don't want that, own it, but if you do, be brave enough to say you want it and convicted enough to stand by a woman when you make that decision. Don't run out and get on some pimp shit because you're scared. Don't try to be player because you're dealing with YOUR feelings of unattractiveness or fear that you made the wrong decision. Be a man and define what that means to you. It doesn't always mean bravado and polyandry.
And finally... and most importantly take note that these mistakes can apply to women as well and if she doesn't show you the same amount of interest, communication, loyalty and commitment, by all means take the high road and bounce, don't ignore the writing on the wall, don't adorn the cape and try and figure out the problem or assist in the repair... let it remain broken because once abused and neglected most women are like a used car, sure in the beginning everything will appear to run smoothly but give it time and things will slowly fall apart. You will in the long run invest more time and effort then expected trying to maintain a lemon of a relationship, then to focus on what it is you really desire and pursue it with passion, confidence and zeal!
Not being communicative- not volume of words but quality of words. Lots of guys think they're expressive because they talk a lot but they aren't really saying anything in their words. Learn to say the important things in a relationship, it'll cut down on assumption and her need to deliberate with her friends on your actions. Most don't do this out of fear of disapproval, but that's when it's time to step up and be a man. Tell here where you're coming from. A woman you date might not always like you- hell- she doesn't even always like her own friends and mother, but she NEEDS to respect you. Communicating properly is worth a TON of points in Ladyland.
Idolatrizing a woman's sexuality (putting a woman's pussy on a pedestal)- Typically when a guy does this, he puts unfair standards on the woman she can't meet. It makes her feel restrictive and as if she's being judged. Many men do this because they view the woman as higher than all others to him (especially guys in a relationship), but it's important to remember that she is human and as a human, she's allowed to make some mistakes with her vagina. That doesn't make her a whore.
Allowing insecurities to get the better of him- You can't afford to be insecure and indecisive. You can't expect someone to put their faith in your as a leader and be indecisive. You can even be wrong (so long as you admit you were and make amends), but you can't be indecisive because it shows a lack of direction. Better to go the wrong way than no way.
Being boring- Women don't like a bad time but they HATE a boring time because they're stimulation addicts. It's part of their make up. It's a key component to their attraction to "bad boys." He gives them something to talk and think about. You don't have to be bad, but you've got to be something. Easiest thing is to be yourself. Being you will give you a certain amount of uniqueness which can also give you a certain amount of edge and mystique. Good stuff.
Being indecisive - Don't leave her on the vine. Before you get too deep in any sort of relationship (fling or girlfriend) ask yourself what you want from the relationship and once you know, begin BEHAVING that way. If you're too indecisive for too long, she will pick up sticks and move on.
Not being a man of his word- Your word is your bond and decree as a leader. Being wrong is better than being a liar. Being critical is better than being a liar. In ladyland, saying youre' going to take out the trash and not taking it out is considered a lie. So be mindful of what you say you will definitely do and once you say it, do it.
Not being consistent in his actions
Being too apologetic - If you're sorry, you're sorry, but if you say "sorry" too much she'll think you're sorry man.
Opening up too soon to a woman - Just like you're turned off by a woman getting intimate too quickly, a woman is turned off by you getting too emotional too fast. And just like the length of acceptable time varies from man to man, it varies from woman to woman.
Underestimating his value as a man/ letting a woman trick him into believing his value is lower - Dont' let anyone decide your value. Often times it's a test and if you let her low ball you, she'll treat you low because you wouldn't assert yourself to be higher.
Hating on other men who are in competition for the same woman- This only gives the woman power over BOTH men. What you've told her is that you value you her more than moral integrity. It says a lot about you (bad stuff) but it also says a lot about her (she must be the shit for you to act this way.) You can't get mad when she acts high post and you can't get mad when she think she can do better. You've proven yourself to be lacking in the Man Code- she probably can do better.
Expecting love, devotion and loyalty of a mother from a girlfriend- You can't expect a woman to love you through thick and thin like your mother. She only treats you that way because you are her offspring. It's important to understand that a relationship must be MAINTAINED. If you don't she will leave you. The only person your girl will love like your mother did is HER KIDS.
Not empathizing with women- Your feelings are like NIGHT VISION when dealing with women. Empathizing doesn't mean you agree, it merely means you see where they're coming from. You don't have to agree but that kind of insight should inform your decisions when dealing with her.
Badly assessing maturity levels - If she's down to get married and you want to fuck around- LET HER GO. There's a drought on chicks with their heads right. Let some other guy get at her who is ready for a commitment. Conversely, if you're ready to settle down and she wants to party, why try to change her? That only builds resentment.
Being too Pre-occupied with a woman they like - Be passionate about something other than the woman and she will use her feminine wiles to divert that attention to her. Want to know women like artists? They hope that he's going to divert all that passion he puts into a project, into her pussy. If the only thing you're passionate about is her, she knows the extent of your attention and has no reason to desire it.
Projecting values of a man on a woman- Women aren't men with vaginas, they are unique individuals going through life with a totally separate experience. While we share some of the same values, its' important that men understand that women do not think the same way as them. That doesn't admonish them from basic moral behavior, but you can't call her weak because she isn't as confrontational as a man or a whore because she values things like security.
Not giving themselves time to heal after a relationship- Emotional scarring can run deep with men and I don't think we're as emotionally resilient as women. In fact, I think that's why women are hesitant to get with guys who have been in a ton of long term relationships or divorced. Men imprint the women they love in their hearts like an animal. So when you separate it hurts for a long time. Dont' be so quick to get back in the game. Take time to heal so you don't end up punishing your woman for something the last woman did.
Not valuing their emotionality- Emotionality of a man is valued by women in the same way that we value sexuality in women. Don't be an emotional ho. Don't share all of our intimate details with every woman. Don't lie to them either, but don't share all of your plans, triumphs, falls and life stories. If a woman is intrigued by you, you've got to use your life experiences like she uses cleavage. Too many men are emotional "hoes" nowadays because they're hoping to exchange emotional intimacy for sexual intimacy. That can only occur if there's a value on the emotional intimacy and the best way to keep that is scarcity.
Not understanding how to be a companion- So much of relationships has been broken down to men = provider, women = child birthers and roll over sex. It's deeper than that. As the leader of the relationship, it's important to understand that the first "offspring" of any couple if the relationship itself. Women love experiences and equally as important as doing some things she wants to do is throwing in some things that maybe neither you guys have done so you can do them together. There are two things that save the average guy when a woman breaks up with him: experiences that she fondly remembers and good sex.
Not understanding how women view sex- It's been often said that only a small number of women can actually have an orgasm through vaginal penetration. That can be argued, but what cannot be argued is that it doesn't stop these women from having sex. The reason is that women enjoy sexual attention. She enjoys feeling desired. The argument could be made that many single women who go through fits of depression and have flings or one night stands do so because they want to feel that sort of sexual attention. Every now and then you've got to ravage her. Even if she fronts like she's not into it. You've got to outlast her and want more. Not just more sex, but more of her. You've got to relay to her that you want more of her when its' not physically impossible to do so. Sex can be likened to a conversation with genitalia. When you start a relationship and you just love talking to a woman and she just loves talking to you and you've got to go but you don't want to get off the phone. You need to transfer that sentiment to sex. You need to make it about her. Also, often men view intimacy as a race to ejaculation. WRONG. There are plenty of women who have sex with men and don't actually get the pleasure of an orgasm or ejaculation and the sex is fine for them. If you want to change it up on a woman and show her it's about the experience of having sexy with her and not just about cumming, let her get hers and then stop. Just cool out and chill there with her in the moment. It's something seldom done by men, increases your stamina and builds a unique sexual bond with a woman because it's probably been seldom, intentionally done with other men.
Not being accountable- Men are leaders and leaders are not only responsible but ultimately accountable. If you're going to run shit and demand the respect and benefits of running things, its' important you take some time to analyze the relationship and see exactly what you're accountable for in it. Trust me, she knows even if you don't and she holds you accountable.
Not being bold- There are actually two distinct old sayings that go well on this- "Fortune favors the bold," and "fortune be lady." Men have penises so they can put their dicks on the table. You want something from a woman: put it out there. It won't work out every single time, but that's life. You cant be scared of rejection. Michael Eisner, former head of Disney, asked his wife to marry him for times before she said yes. She recently said in an interview she was really glad he kept asking. Robert Downey Jr. asked his now wife Susan Downey out four times before she said yes. They met in 2003 on the set of Gothika (he was already famous) and she said "no" because she thought it was weird. Even if a woman doesn't find you attractive, she'll find your boldness and the fact that you have plans for her attractive. It makes her feel valuable and at the same time it shows you're a planner.
Being scared and rationalizing it away- A lot of this "strength" that men show today is "aggressiveness." A lot of the pimp and player mentality of today's man is really a fear of intimacy and being close to a woman. If you don't want that, own it, but if you do, be brave enough to say you want it and convicted enough to stand by a woman when you make that decision. Don't run out and get on some pimp shit because you're scared. Don't try to be player because you're dealing with YOUR feelings of unattractiveness or fear that you made the wrong decision. Be a man and define what that means to you. It doesn't always mean bravado and polyandry.
And finally... and most importantly take note that these mistakes can apply to women as well and if she doesn't show you the same amount of interest, communication, loyalty and commitment, by all means take the high road and bounce, don't ignore the writing on the wall, don't adorn the cape and try and figure out the problem or assist in the repair... let it remain broken because once abused and neglected most women are like a used car, sure in the beginning everything will appear to run smoothly but give it time and things will slowly fall apart. You will in the long run invest more time and effort then expected trying to maintain a lemon of a relationship, then to focus on what it is you really desire and pursue it with passion, confidence and zeal!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
